No Equation

I was reading a book review on Amazon.com, and I saw numerous comments such as, "(blank person) shows what it means to truly be a Christian," or, "(This person) lives the way all Christians should."

Somehow that rings wrong. And I think this person would probably agree with me here. Following Jesus does not mean leaving your home and living in some third world country and healing the sick and teaching people jobs and raising orphans. It might look like that. But it doesn't necessarily mean that. Following Jesus does not mean living in your hometown all your life, getting married, having 2.5 kids, working in an office every day. It might look like that in your life, but that isn't what it means.

So what then does following Jesus mean? It means a lot of things. Above all else, it means loving Jesus first. And that means wrestling, it means saying yes to Jesus above what your old self tells you, it means trusting what you know to be true versus what you feel, it means not settling for your dreams and ideas of your life but looking to the greater, fuller, marvelous dreams that God has for your life. It means you look for direction, take one step, wait to hear the next step, and then you walk once more. It means you work in a bank all day if that is where God leads and it means you take care of that money with a smile on your face and a song in your heart because you know the God you serve. It means you attend university if that is where God leads you and you study and learn as much as you can with all your might because you are in God's plan. It means you choose hard things, you sacrifice your last 20 dollars because you know that your money is not your own but it is God's. It means you live with anticipation, knowing the end of the story and blessed that you get to see how it unfolds. It means that yes, people drive you insane, but you are not content in that so you run to Jesus with those feelings and thoughts and you praise that His power is made perfect in your weakness.

Following Jesus is a complex thing. It is so simple when you get down to it, yet it is so hard when you are constantly battling your old self (even though that self is already dead and gone). But through it all, through the struggle and overwheming-ness and exhaustion and crying out to Jesus, God is looking on in delight, because He loves us. He loves making us new. He loves revealing Himself to us through these things. He loves that we did not choose easy and chose Him instead. He loves watching us come to terms with what it means to follow Him, and He loves revealing His plan to us. He loves teaching us to love Him more. He loves teaching us what following Him looks like! And that, that is what it means to follow Jesus. There is no formula, no equation, no check list, no answer key. But what we have is better than that, because we have God Himself.

This Has Gotta Be the Good Life

I went to London last weekend with Mary Grace to visit two of my dearest friends, Olivia (henceforth referred to as Liv or Livy or some variation; she pointed out that 'Olivia' is only used when it is something serious, which is true) and Julie (aka JuJu, Jules, etc)! We had SO MUCH FUN!!!! I love all of them so much, and when we are together, it is like all that love comes together and explodes in hugs, laughter, great conversation, jokes, dancing, singing, etc. Truly, its the best (the only thing that could have made it better was if the rest of the Wonder Week crew had been there! Missed y'all, Kare, Hil, Laur, Carolyn, Kristin, and Katie!).

Liv, MG, Julie, and I in Hyde Park

On Friday, we left really early and met up with Liv and Julie by 8:30. We hugged and screamed in the courtyard of the Royal National Hotel and then made our way up to their room. They had class, so MG and I grabbed breakfast and then napped on their beds. The girls came back, and we visited with some guys on the trip, and then we hit the town! We ate at this perfect cafe called In Season (go there! So cute and good and inexpensive!). Then we made our way through Trafalgar Square (had an interesting time trying to sit on the lions...that never ended up happening, haha), down to Big Ben, across the river, and found a wine and cheese festival. We walked around and spied pumpkin cheesecake. Of course, we had to split a piece! And it was delicious. Then we headed up to Westminster for an Evensong service. Wow. That was beautiful! It was soo cool to be a part of it. The choir was incredible, and their voices were all echo-y in the huge cathedral which made them sound even more ethereal and heavenly. After that, we headed to this pub called The Globe (yes, after the theater) with Allie and talked and laughed over fish and chips! Yum!

Big Ben!

We headed back to the hotel for the night, pushed the beds together, and all piled in together. If you are a girl, you know exactly what I mean when I saw that those are the best times. I don't even remember all that we talked about, but it was perfect.

Love JuJu!

Saturday morning, we all got ready for our day. As Mary Grace was straightening her hair, the fire alarm went off and we had to evaculate (we may or may not have had something to do with setting the fire alarm off in the 1000+ room hotel....we'll never for sure...). It was hilarious, but we finally made it down to breakfast. then we headed to check on tickets! There were no good tickets for anything we wanted to see, which was disappointing. But we decided to stop by the Les Mis theater just in case. The manw as really grumpy, and everyone had turned to leave, but Julie and I spotted a "Standing Tickets, £10" sign, so I asked about it. "Oh, yes, you can buy those, but you have to stand up for the whole (2 hour and 50 minute) show," he said. We looked at each other and immediately began pulling out our money. Les Mis!!! In London!!! For £10!!!!

Fire Alarm! We'll never know...

We joyfully made our back through Picadilly to Hyde Park, where we had a wonderful picnic enjoying the sunshine. After a while, we wandered down to Harrod's where we ate some incredible fro yo, looked around in awe (or overwhelmedness), and rode the Egyptian escalator to the voice of the live opera singer. In honor of Carolyn and our love for Victoria and Albert, we headed to the Victoria and Albert museum! We didn't have long, but it was fun to look around for a while. We grabbed a double-decker bus back to Picadilly. We headed to Chinatown, stopped in at Four Season Chinese restaurant, had a hilarious experienec and some delicious Chinese food, and then headed to Les Mis!

My beautiful friends

The show was, in a word, incredible. I loved it so much. We were all spellbound. Afterwards, we of course went to meet the cast! I think we were all slightly euphoric when we walked home, singing and talking and laughing and dancing a little too. It was perfect!

So Silly

On Sunday, we headed to all Soul's for church and then to Camden markets. Camden was very interesting, kind of more punk than I was expecting. But it was still fun! We grabbed some lunch and ate in the hotel room so I could get my things before boarding the train back to Brussels. I hated saying good bye, but knowing that Liv and Julie are coming to Brussels next month made it ok!  All in all, it was a perfect weekend. Thanks, Julie and Liv, for everything! Love you both!

Glory Glory Glory

God doesn't need me.

A major theme in life since becoming a Believer is God's glory. From what it means to how it is displayed to it being the point of my life, I have constantly learned things about God's glory.  Frequent questions I ask myself are: 1)How can I glorify God? and 2) What can I do to bring Him more glory? And this weekend, sitting in Inistioge in one of the most beautiful places I can imagine, I realized how wrong those questions are.

God doesn't need me to glorify Him. In fact, I cannot give Him any more glory than He already has! While yes, I want my life to please and be an expression of His glory, it doesn't give Him more glory. He has the glory. When Jesus lived the perfect life, died on the cross, overcame death, and broke sin, that is God's expression of glory. He already has all the glory simply because of Who He is. Yes, God in and of Himself is glorified because of Who He is.

And so I cannot do anything to bring God more glory. God doesn't need me to do that. He can't have more glory because He already has it all!

I constantly find myself trying to live up to what God has done for me. After all, He sacrificed it all. And He did it for me. So shouldn't I live a life that is worthy of that? The funny thing (well, not so funny, really) is that I can't. I can never be worthy. When I was preparing to be baptized, Daddy asked me, "What would you say to God if, when you got to the gates of Heaven, He asked, 'Why should I let you in here? What have you done to earn this?'" I thought about it, and as we talked, the answer became clear: "In all honesty, Lord, You shouldn't let me in here. I have done nothing. But You did it for me, and because of Jesus' sacrifice, You forgave me." That is true. Yet I still find myself pushing myself harder, pressuring myself to "earn" God's love, to be worthy of the sacrifice that He made for me. Even though I know the truth, that there is no way I can ever live up to it, that is where I find myself time and time again.

Now a new part of that struggle has been realized. I can't bring God glory, because He has already done it. All I can do, all that I can do, is love Him. And that does not mean living a perfect life, because God knows that I can't and He does not expect that of me. What it does mean is chasing after God first and foremost. It means not settling for what I feel but trusting what I know to be true. It means wrestling and not giving up and not taking the easy way. Loving God means I fail but in my failings I don't despair; instead I rejoice at the God I serve! It means I choose life in every thought and action.

No, I am not enough. I am not worthy. But God looks at me, He sees me for who I am, He sees the dirt and filth and shame, and He smiles and says, "You are Mine. I love you. And see, I am doing a new thing! I am making you new, and I delight in that! You are not enough, but I AM."

And so today, again, I choose to trust and walk in Him and live in the freedom of loving the Lord.

Ireland

And my European travels continue! This weekend, I went to Ireland. Let me tell you, this is something I have dreamed of my whole life. Ever since I was a little girl, I have imagined visiting Ireland and what it would be like. So early early Friday morning, Mary Grace and I boarded a plane for Dublin!

Standing by Liffey River

We arrived at only 7:30 am, local time. So dropped out things at the hostel, and then we immediately hit the town! First things first, we went to Queen of Tarts for breakfast. If you ever in Dublin, do not miss this! Not only was it charmingly decorated, but the food was incredible! I had the best scone I have ever eaten. Yum!

Raspberry tart!

Next we wandered around Dame Street for a while, up through the Temple Bar area, including a stop at the best bookstore! Then we headed back to the City Hall for a free walking tour. Dave was our tour guide, and he started off as a very entertaining guide. We heard a brief history of Ireland, as well as some fascinating stories about the places we visited. Our first stop was Dublin Castle, followed by an interesting wall, on up to Christ Church Cathedral, and then a break for lunch. Dave was getting a little too political on us, spouting a lot of anti-capitalistic ideas about the financial crisis that we really not what we wanted to hear, particularly on vacation from our internships where we talk a lot about the financial crisis in Europe! So we went with them to Trinity College, but then we split apart from them. We wandered around Trinity for a while and then headed to St. Patrick's. There is a beautiful park outside St. Patrick's that was fun to walk around in. And the inside of the cathedral is beautiful as well! Jonathan Swift is buried there, and it was interesting to see many fascinating stories and details written on plaques around the church.

This gate was built to hide the slums from British aristocrats visiting the British who were ruling Ireland at the time. It serves no purpose except to pretend that the slums don't exist.

After St. Patrick's we headed along the Liffey River to the O'Connell area. We stopped in at the famous Post Office where on Easter Monday, April 1916, the Irish rebels announced that Ireland was an independent republic. After wandering a little, we freshened up at our hostel and headed to O'Neill's for dinner! We split fish and chips, and it was delicious! Plus the atmosphere of this traditional Irish pub was fun. Then we wandered down to another pub where we heard there was free music and Irish dancing. We sat at the bar, ate dessert, and "split" a Guinness (I only could take about two sips). The music eventually started, and it was fun to hear people sing along. It was getting late, and we had been up since the wee hours of the morning, so we called it a night before the dancing started.

St. Patrick's well

You can find this "Door of Reconciliation" in St. Patrick's. Sons of two feuding families chased their way throughout the town, and one barricaded himself inside the church. The one outside finally said, "I am tired of this. Let's call the end of this feud and live in peace." The one inside didn't believe him, and so to prove himself, the one outside the door cut a hole large enough for him to stick his arm through to show he was serious and had no weapon. This is where the phrase, "chance your arm" comes from!

On Saturday, we got up, had breakfast, and then parted ways. I headed to County Kilkenny! The train ride was beautiful, and when I arrived to Kilkenny City, I hurried to meet my bus to Inistioge! That bus ride was perfect, winding through a number of towns and alongside a river. I departed at Inistioge, and the town was so beautiful! My family originally came from The Rower, which is 8 miles from Inistioge, too far by foot with no bus going there. I was very sad that I did not get to find my ancestor's graves or see the area where they actually lived. At the same time, Inistioge is beautiful, and it is the nearest town, so I'm sure my family spent time there as well! It was a perfect afternoon. I wandered around the town for a while, but I spend most of my time by the river, next to the Ten Arch bridge. There were a few cows and sheep, and the river trickled over some stones near where I was. I just enjoyed the day, had some much-needed time, and even got to sing a little!

Ten Arch Bridge in Inistioge!

Inistioge Town Square

Eventually, I headed back to Kilkenny City. This area reminded me of Bruges in some ways because it was a smaller medieval town with a similar feel. There is a castle and a huge park and a number of churches. St. John's Church in particular was neat to visit. I wandered around Kilkenny City for a while, and then I met my train back to Dublin. Mary Grace and I met up and headed to the O'Connell area. We grabbed a quick dinner and then just wandered around, taking in the sights. Finally we made our way to a pub with some more live music (but wasn't too rowdy - we were both tired from our days of travelling!). We sat at a table in the back and talked and laughed and listened to the band play good Irish standards like Mustang Sally and Rolling in the Deep. (They actually did play a few Irish standards, but it was funny to hear them sing unexpected songs too.) Eventually we returned to our hostel to go to bed, and the next morning we returned to Brussels!

Kilkenny Castle

Old church in Kilkenny

It was such a nice and relaxing weekend. Dublin was fun to visit, and I loved Inistioge and Kilkenny City! I really want to go back to Ireland to visit other areas like Donegal and Galway and The Rower. I'm already trying to talk Mama into going there in the next few years! We added it to the five year plan (you know, the one we made up just so we could add this trip to it!), so hopefully it will happen! Ireland, here's to you.

Last night in Dublin

Normandy

We went to Normandy last weekend. What a paradox!  As we walked along the sites of World War II battles, the sun shone down in the best weather we've had since being in Brussels. It was truly the most peaceful weekend, yet we were learning about devastating battles...

My apartment at Pont du Hoc

On Friday, we loaded up in the Furman bus for the 7.5 hour drive to Normandy. We were all fairly excited and in high spirits. There was lots of talking, lots of laughter, lots of napping, and lots of reading for school. Eventually, we made it to Bayeux! We dropped our stuff at the hotel, and then Sey, Cameron, Mary Grace, Theresa, Leah, Connnie, and I went to this great pizza place for dinner. Yum! Such good food and hilarious conversation!

Saturday morning we met our tourguide Claire and loaded the bus for our tour of Normandy. We went to a German cemetary, which was interesting. Then we headed to Utah Beach, home of one of the invasions. What a cool place! Not only was it wonderful to stand by the ocean again (!!!!), but it was incredible to think about American soldiers leaving their ships and storming the beaches.

Utah Beach

After a while we stopped for lunch. We grabbed sandwiches, pastries, and drinks, and then we headed to picnic on the beach! Talk about ideal...So perfect. We headed to Pont du Hoc and saw where the Americans attacked the German bunker. We got to tour inside the bunker, which was interesting. Afterwards we headed to Omaha Beach, where soldiers stormed the beach to push back the Germans. Incredible. Then we went to the American cemetary - wow. The graves are endless. Row after row of soldier who sacrificed that I might be free. I just can't get over that. This was particularly moving because those men where my grandparents' family and friends. I'm so thankful, words cannot even express it.

Omaha Beach

American Cemetary at Normandy

On the way home, we stopped at these German guns, but the field was so inviting that I had to have some frolic time! I just want to build a house on this spot and give tours to Americans all day and drink my tea overlooking the ocean...Sigh.

Frolicking. So wonderful!

Facts

Some random things to note:

- Saying "y'all" to English speakers here is not the same as using "y'all" to English speakers in Diosd who are used to Southerners. These people who have learned English only in Belgium, or wherever they are from, are for the most part just really confused.

- You know you look American when people bring you your drink with ice in it without you even asking.

- Eye contact makes people extremely uncomfortable here. You get some weird looks. (Thankfully when you are smiling at babies or little kids the mom is happy that someone else thinks her kid is as cute as she does, so then she smiles back at you)

- Random but wonderful 70s and 80s music blares in the metro station in the early morning. Its really great, I actually always want to stay in the station and listen to it!

- You begin to recognize the people who continually drive/cycle/walk on your street even though you don't really live in a nieghborhood, so to speak.


- Celine Dion makes EVERYTHING better!